Interesting day?

Today sort of sucked. After school I got hit with a rushing flow of depression. I could tell because when I have depression I just lie down and either look at the sky and think or cry. And I did the second, just lied on the grass and cried. Maybe it was because of stress, maybe the dementors are coming after me, I'm not sure.

After I was able to stand up, I dried my tears and walked over to some of my friends. I ended up lying down again for a minute or two, but with my face up to the sky, and then I got back up when I started feeling better. And after a while I was laughing with my friends and me and The Canadian ended up getting in a really weird grope battle, and I ended up sitting on top of her. The other people have left, and it's just me and her. So I bring up how I told her I liked her and she didn't do anything, and then it got silent.

Really silent.

So I got off of her and went inside, and while I was waiting for my ride home, she was waiting for hers. Awkward? Yes. I couldn't even look at her without thinking "GOD I'M SUCH AN IDIOT." And now I'm worried that tomorrow things will be even worse and also tomorrow is the first day of April which means:

1) Script Frenzy starts
2) April Fools day
3) I have a big test.

Wish me luck; I'll need it.

I squished.

Yippity do da, it's Valentines day! That time when you write your lover cheesy poetry, dress all in red, and sing Disney songs.

Yes, my school does all of this.

And, being the cliche ze that I am, I told the person I like that I like them today. And yes, it was awkward as heck. I even pulled the "wait-till-they're-about-to-leave-then-tell-them" card, but I still felt awkward as crap, and now I don't even know if they took me seriously.

This is why I hate it when I can't read someone. Normally I'm fantastic at being able to tell what someone's feeling, but with hir, ze doesn't even give me any nervous twitches or blushes to go off of. Normally ze just looks happy all the time; only one time did I suspect that ze was a bit depressed, but ze could have just been tired.

I think I just want to lock myself, hir, and a psychologist or whatever and have the doctor person make hir show hir ACTUAL EMOTIONS. Cause masks make me twitch.

Well, I've had enough ranting for today. Night ya'll. I'm getting some sleep.
Maybe tomorrow I'll make sure ze knows I was actually serious...

Thumpity thump thump.

Valentines day is tomorrow; I know that because my heart won't stop going thumpity thump thump. See, I have this condition where around this time of year my organs start metamorphosing into about twenty thousand butterflies. Each time it's a different species of butterfly, and this year it was the Plaided Canadian. This species will remain dormant for most of the day, until they are in close proximity to a plaid-wearing Canadian, when they will flap their little wings as fast as they possibly can.

It makes me look like this:

Yeah, not really a picture of beauty there.

And I just happen to know a plaid-wearing Canadian this year too! Who just loves to stand in close proximity to me. And pretend to flirt with me. But thankfully, ze doesn't like to hug people much.

But I'm starting to like hir hugs.

And I wanted to tell this person that I like them before Valentines day, but due to nerves and an unfortunate display of events, I'm going to have to go with the cliche route of telling hir how I feel on that day.

So I will be going into school tomorrow, armed with a bag of Halls and my best friends poking at me saying "you can do it!" and then when I get up to hir my support will leave and I'll be a crumpled mess of nerves on the ground.

Sometimes I just want trade my heart with someone else's. Just once.
I really hate Valentines Day.